Raising a teenager successfully comes down to a few habits: set clear rules that you explain and review, listen before you decide, reward responsible behavior with more freedom, and protect the basics of sleep, online safety and safe driving. According to the US National Institute of Mental Health, the brain keeps maturing into the mid-to-late 20s, so teens still need structure as well as trust.
Key Takeaways
- The prefrontal cortex, which handles planning and decision-making, is one of the last parts of the brain to mature (NIMH), which helps explain teenage risk-taking.
- The CDC recommends 8 to 10 hours of sleep for teens aged 13 to 17, but in 2025 only about 1 in 4 US high school students got at least 8 hours on a school night.
- The US Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory found that teens using social media for more than three hours a day face double the risk of symptoms of depression and anxiety.
- Teens aged 16 to 19 have a higher crash risk than any other age group, so a written parent-teen driving agreement is worth the effort.
- Rules work best when they are explained, agreed and loosened step by step as a teen shows responsibility.
You might feel a great sense of anxiety when your kid becomes a teenager. Raising a teenager is indeed a bit different than taking care of a kid. Your child has grown and is closer to being a full-fledged adult now. That doesn’t mean that your teenager is a mature person, though.
Tips for Successfully Raising Teenagers
It’s going to take guidance and time to help your teenager reach adulthood in a good position. You want them to be able to learn as much as they can during these years because college will be just around the corner.
However, teenagers are often going to be interested in rebellious things. Read on to learn about important tips for raising your teenager successfully.
Set Rules That Make Sense
Setting rules that make sense will help to keep your teenager from doing things that will put them in a bad spot. For instance, you might have rules about your teen needing to be home by a certain time in the evening.
Curfew times vary by family, by the teen’s age and by local rules, so many parents agree a fixed time for school nights and allow a later time only with specific permission. Doing this keeps your teen from getting into too much trouble by being out later than they should be.
A lot of things that you wouldn’t want your teen getting involved in happen during the later hours of the night. If you do a good job of keeping your teen in check, then it won’t be something that you’ll have to worry about as much.
There are other rules that you might want to consider as well. For instance, you might wish to meet their friends before they go out to do things together.
Many parents also choose to meet the other parents in the group of friends. If you can stay in touch with each other, then you’ll have a better idea of what the teenagers are getting up to.
It helps you to feel less concerned when there are multiple sets of parents keeping tabs on the group. Other rules to think about are common-sense ones such as no breaking laws by trying to do things that you aren’t supposed to do while underage.
Listen to Your Teenager
Listening to your teenager can help you to come to an understanding. Sometimes just setting rules without listening to what your kid has to say will make them want to rebel against you.
You don’t want to give your teenager the impression that you don’t care about their feelings. If your teen wants to go to a concert, then you probably shouldn’t automatically say no.
You can at least hear them out and then decide whether it’s appropriate for them to go based on your research. If you don’t think that the artist is appropriate, then you might choose to keep them from going.
However, it might be good to remember that you were a teen once and that your parents might not have approved of the music that you enjoyed. Some parents have had great success by chaperoning their teens and taking them to concerts.
Communication is key when you’re raising a teenager. If you can talk to each other and truly listen to one another, then things will go much easier.
You’ll have a hard time getting your teen to focus on what’s important if they don’t even want to listen to what you have to say. Just remember that communication is a two-way street and that you have to listen sometimes even when you don’t want to.
Reward Your Teen for Being Responsible
Rewarding your teen for being responsible makes a lot of sense. You want them to do well in school because good grades keep more options open after graduation, whether that is college, an apprenticeship or a first job.
If they get good grades, then they might deserve to be rewarded. You could help them to get things that they want, but it’s also possible to reward a teen with a bit more freedom. When a teenager shows that they can act responsible and mature, it’s easier to put more trust in them.
Taking this approach should make it easier for a teen to see that there’s a direct benefit to behaving properly. If they do well in school and focus on other positive things, you’ll be able to feel that they will continue to make good decisions.
They should know that they will face repercussions if they make bad decisions as well. Consequences should be fair and proportionate, never harsh or humiliating. You just want them to be able to learn so that they can succeed in life.
BetterHelp, an online counseling company, publishes a collection of articles about teenagers at this address: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/teenagers/.
Hopefully, you’ll feel that raising your teenager isn’t quite so difficult after reading this advice. It can be very worrying to have a teenager in the house because you remember what it was like when you were that age.
If you’re able to be the best parent that you can be, then you’ll be able to continue to be there for your kid while ensuring that they have the tools to thrive as they enter adulthood.
Why Do Teenagers Act the Way They Do?
Teenagers take more risks because their brains are still developing. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid-to-late 20s, and the prefrontal cortex, the area behind the forehead that handles planning, prioritizing and decision-making, is one of the last parts to mature.
NIMH also notes that teens are strongly focused on their social world, so they may take risks when the social payoff seems bigger than the possible consequences. Those risks are not always bad: joining a new team, trying out for a play or starting a part-time job are positive risks that parents can encourage.
How Much Sleep Does a Teenager Need?
Teenagers aged 13 to 17 need 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night, according to the CDC, which cites consensus guidance from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and the Sleep Research Society. Children aged 6 to 12 need 9 to 12 hours.
Most teens fall short. The CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that in 2025 only about 1 in 4 US high school students got at least 8 hours of sleep on an average school night, down from 27% in 2015 to 24% in 2025. Older students slept less: 31% of 9th graders met the target compared with 20% of 11th and 12th graders.
Part of the reason is biological. NIMH explains that the sleep hormone melatonin stays high later at night and drops later in the morning in teens, which may explain why they stay up late and struggle to wake early. Lack of sleep makes it harder to pay attention, control impulses and do well at school.
Practical steps that follow from the CDC’s guidance:
- Keep phones, tablets and gaming devices out of the bedroom at night.
- Put devices away about one hour before bedtime.
- Include bedtime screens in the family media plan; the AAP lists the time before bed as a screen-free zone.
- Watch for signs of too little sleep, such as trouble paying attention or controlling impulses (NIMH).
How Should Parents Handle Social Media and Screen Time?
Social media is part of almost every teen’s life. The US Surgeon General’s advisory on social media and youth mental health, issued in May 2023, reported that up to 95% of young people aged 13 to 17 use a social media platform, and that adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of poor mental health outcomes such as symptoms of depression and anxiety.
The advisory asked parents and caregivers to establish tech-free zones that foster in-person relationships, teach children about responsible online behavior, model that behavior themselves, and report problematic content. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends a written Family Media Plan with screen-free zones such as the dinner table, homework time and the time before bed, and it stresses that the plan should cover every family member, including parents.
For age-by-age guidance, see our guide to screen time limits by age, and if your teen does not yet have a phone, read what age is right for a first smartphone. Parents who want monitoring tools can compare options in our roundup of parenting apps for kids’ safety.
How Can Parents Keep a Teen Driver Safe?
Driving is one of the biggest real dangers of the teenage years. According to the CDC, the risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among teens aged 16 to 19 than among any other age group, and about 2,800 teens aged 13 to 19 were killed in motor vehicle crashes in the United States in 2020, roughly eight a day.
The CDC identifies several specific risks:
- Night driving: the fatal crash rate at night for drivers aged 16 to 19 is about 3 times that of drivers aged 30 to 59 per mile driven.
- Teen passengers: crash risk for an unsupervised teen driver rises with each additional young passenger.
- Seat belts: 56% of teen drivers and passengers aged 16 to 19 who died in crashes in 2020 were not wearing a seat belt.
Graduated driver licensing (GDL), which phases in driving privileges, works. The CDC reports that GDL systems are associated with about 19% fewer injury crashes and 21% fewer fatal crashes among 16-year-olds. Parents can add their own layer by signing a Parent-Teen Driving Agreement, a CDC-recommended written agreement in which parents and teens agree on safe driving practices.
Rules, Listening and Rewards at a Glance
| Area | What works | What to avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Rules and curfews | Explain the reason, agree the rule, review it as your teen gets older | Rules with no explanation that never change |
| Communication | Hear the full request before deciding; ask questions | An automatic no, or lecturing without listening |
| Rewards | Extra freedom or privileges earned through responsible behavior | Rewards that are promised and then withdrawn |
| Consequences | Clear, proportionate and linked to the behavior | Harsh, humiliating or inconsistent punishments |
| Sleep | 8 to 10 hours; devices out of the bedroom at night (CDC) | Phones in bed and very late weekend nights |
| Social media | A family media plan with tech-free zones (AAP, Surgeon General) | Unlimited, unsupervised use |
| Driving | A written parent-teen driving agreement; awareness of night and passenger risks (CDC) | Handing over the keys with no agreed rules |
When Should Parents Get Extra Help?
Moodiness is common in adolescence, but lasting changes deserve attention. Talk to your teen’s doctor or a licensed mental health professional if changes in sleep, eating, grades, friendships or mood last for weeks, or if your teen withdraws from activities they used to enjoy. Our article on improving children’s mental health covers everyday support at home.
If a teen talks about suicide or is in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or use its online chat. The Lifeline is free, confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In an emergency, call 911. This article is general information, not medical or psychological advice.
Simple Ways to Stay Connected
Connection is easier through shared activities than through formal talks. Regular family meals, car rides and game nights give teens low-pressure time to talk. If you need ideas, try our list of board games to play with teens.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the most important thing when raising a teenager?
Consistent, two-way communication matters most. Teens are more likely to follow rules they understand and helped to set, and parents who listen first are more likely to hear about problems early.
Why do teenagers take more risks than adults?
Teenagers take more risks partly because the prefrontal cortex, which handles planning and decision-making, is one of the last brain areas to mature. According to NIMH, the brain keeps developing into the mid-to-late 20s.
How many hours of sleep does a teenager need?
Teenagers aged 13 to 17 need 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night, according to the CDC. In 2025, only about 1 in 4 US high school students got at least 8 hours on an average school night.
How much social media is too much for a teen?
There is no single official daily limit, but the US Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory found that teens who use social media for more than three hours a day face double the risk of symptoms of depression and anxiety. A family media plan with tech-free zones is a sensible starting point.
What time should a teenager’s curfew be?
There is no single correct curfew. Families usually set it by age, school schedule and local rules, allow later exceptions with permission, and extend it as the teen shows responsibility. Teen drivers should also follow any nighttime limits in their state’s graduated licensing rules.
Should parents reward good grades?
Rewards can work when they are linked to effort and responsibility. Many parents find that extra freedom, such as a later curfew or more independence, is a meaningful reward alongside or instead of money or gifts.
